Man, I'm In Total Like With This Kid. « I'm in France and Idaho stole my Mormon.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Man, I'm In Total Like With This Kid.

It's been a pretty slow week, if you subtract all the "Wow you actually choose one??" comments and the all the wows and my mom saying Jake was cute. Don't forget to take out the Junior-Senior Banquet w/ Ryan at Salem. You also have to take out the whole "WOW, I cannot hang out with Chris anymore" thing.
I haven't this way since I decided to break off my friend ship with Ben a year and half ago but the difference is I told Chris straight up how I felt (it took a little encouragement though. Thanks mankins!) and didn't just insinuate stuff and avoid him, I told Chris straight up how I felt about him and what my decision was and even though i was starting to cry while I did it I refused to let him change my mind like he could so easily do a few months ago. I'm very proud off my self! That’s twice lately I told people how I felt about them. First Jake now Chris and although the feelings I conveyed to them were totally different (One set of feelings were all happiness and stuff the other set was just friendship, anger, and awkwardness all mixed together.) After each experience I've gotten the same feeling of pride. It's like I've mastered some skill I've been trying to learn for a long time and in a way that’s exactly what it is.
I love knowing I can handle things and I don't have to stay unhappy because I don't know how to express myself I love this confidence I've gained lately!
In the last week I've had a considerable amount of extra time compared to when I had play practice all the time. It's given me allot of thinking time. I realize how much I've learned from these last crappy 6 months. I'm so over all the drama I feel like with all my loose ends of drama tied up and with the people who really care about me on my side I feel like I can take on the world and accomplish anything (sorry if I’m getting to corny!)
I leave you with this...
Me: do you think he saw us walkin to 2nd period together and just embellished a little?
Mankins: embellished???
Mankins: wtf does that mean?
He's not that smart but trust me he cleans up pretty well but his girlfriend still looks better in pink than him check it out..You may be shocked to hear it but I'm happy for those two crazy kids.

*-alex-*

i spoke @ 10:21:03 pm
-*-

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